despodespot:

you know you’ve given up when reading spark notes is too much work

Ahahah this is like the time I went out and bought the sparknotes book bc I was too lazy to read it online for free the night before, and it was far more convenient to carry around a copy in school and read it between periods.

(via sunelton)

I have the worst cold and both my head and stomach hurt whenever I cough, which is like every 2 minutes. I came home at nine with my parents and at first I was going to go to straight to bed but I realized that I never get days without homework like today anymore, and I’m tired of always equating “enjoying myself” with sleeping so I took a book off my bookshelf and curled up in bed with it.

No, it wasn’t some Romanticist poetry like I should be reading for class but it was Sammy Keyes and the Runaway Elf! I know that’s a book for fourth graders or something but those are always the best. I’ve always loved mysteries and it felt so weird and so GOOD to be reading again. And after I finished the book in two hours i had that feeling I always get whenever I finish any good book— that strange, fuzzy, warm feeling that spreads all over your body and this is probably weird but I always just sit there for a minute to stare at the cover thinking about… I’m not sure. Maybe I’m not thinking at all but I think that sixty second grace period after I finish a book is crucial. Anyway if I end up writing childrens’ novels when I grow up I hope the kids who read my books, whether they be mysteries or anything really, have that same fuzzy feeling.

was such a good night.

to be honest i was really contemplating whether or not i should go to the party, especially with my ap exam right around the corner, but i eventually pulled through bc i love the birthday girl and she does live so close by. the food was great, the music was amazing, and i found out that a lot of the people i awkwardly met eyes with in the hallways are actually super cool.

i also danced with this guy and he was perty cayoot lawl.

when i got home my parents flipped a shit bc it’s late and my mom swore on her death bed that i will never leave the house ever again, but

i am invincible!!!!

I’m not sure whether I’ve grown to love being alone because I am alone so often or if I tend to be alone because I love being alone.

I mean, I guess it’s kind of weird because I do genuinely enjoy socializing and being with people I care about. I like hearing funny stories and I especially love it when people shit on other people I dislike. It makes me happy when people smile at what I say and I’m glad that I have the friends that I have.

Except at one point in the day my brain literally shuts down and I just want to be with no one but myself. It’s not that I go off to think deep, philosophical thoughts or anything, but I just want to be in my little corner eating a muffin or doing my math hw (most likely just trying to) or just doodling in my notes. I like the fact that I don’t feel obliged to respond to anyone or sympathize with anyone or to pretend to be a therapist. Don’t get me wrong, I am generally an empathetic person and I do like to listen… But sometimes I just don’t want to. Sometimes I just want to be in my own bubble to de-stress and re-energize.

I guess it just confuses me when some of my friends don’t get that. Some get offended when I blow off lunch plans just to sit on the half floor by myself and others think it’s weird that I enjoy my solitude so much. It actually annoys me that I have to deal with texts such as, “are you eating with me tomorrow or are you going to be a loner again?” when I never realized that me being alone came off to others as me being a loser with no friends.